I must say this past week might be on the top ten worst weeks ever for my family.
The Flu Apocalypse took my homeschool community by storm. My children have yet to recover. We seem to have one good day followed by three days of fever.
So far, the sickness has kept us from Super Bowl Parties, school and most recent, my girlfriend’s 38th birthday party….Yes, I know, first world problems. (Where’s my tiny violin.)
When the kids first got sick, I must admit it was nice being forced to slow down. As the kids slumbered in their cold-medicine induced comas, I had time with Abba. I had several good days of study and prayer time.
But after a few days, the real world started calling. Obligations to others starting weighing on me. I felt the need to respond to the many emails waiting in my inbox.
As the days began to resemble normal again, my personal agenda took over. I had some goals I planned to attain now the sickness had passed.
And then, it was like someone hit the restart button.
In the next 24 hours, I suffered a crazy reaction to my allergy shots. My right arm was twice as big as my left. I was in a Benadryl induced slumber for the next 16-hours. And when I finally was able to pull myself out of the bed, I discovered my son had a fever.
I wish I could tell you I went and sat down with Abba. I wish I could tell you that I prayed and thanked Him for the additional timeout.
I didn’t.
I text my girlfriends. I grumbled and complained. I called my husband and whined about how my agenda for the day was totally shot.
I had a pity party.
And trust me, when we open ourselves for the enemy’s attack, he will attack. Within a few hours, I began wondering if I was crazy to think I could do everything I felt God calling me to do. I barely had time to get the everyday stuff done.
Maybe God couldn’t use me in this season like I thought.
It was in the moment of doubt, I finally spoke to God and asked had He even seen me today. His reply came through a dear friend who took time out of her schedule to bring my family food. When I talked with her, she told me God wanted her to bless me and to tell me He did see me.
In my hour of weakness, my friend served my needs so I could serve my families and be reminded what the real agenda was in the first place.
It was all I needed. The rest of today was spent in Abba’s presence, focusing on Kingdom agenda, not mine.
If today had gone the way I had planned, my scheduled would have kept us on the road all day. I wouldn’t have slowed down to talk to God or meditate on His truths. I would still be avoiding getting the two speeches down for the events coming up soon. Today would have been another day of marking off the long to-do checklist.
I don’t always stop and listen. I don’t always see the reason in the storm. More times than I care to admit, I pull away instead of leaning in when plans don’t go the way I hoped. I’m a work in progress. But, God can be trusted…. even on the horrible, terrible not-so-good weeks.
Leave a Reply