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I had dinner with a friend the other night and we got into the discussion of being raised in faith-based homes. It did not take us long to realize that we were both raised extremely legalistic. And even though we were raised in church and with God-fearing parents, we still slipped in the abyss of the world.
I am very open about my rocky teen and college years. Often, when I tell people about the whirlwind of bad decisions I made in college, they are very surprised. Looking at me now, you would have no idea that I partied so hard my guy friends threatened to tell my mom to put me in rehab, that I got pregnant out of wedlock in college and almost aborted my first born or the fact that when I was in my late 20’s, I completely renounced God and anything and everyone associated with religion.
Growing up, I was the poster child for church and youth group. I was at church when the doors opened and the last to walk out. I often tell people I spoke fluent “Christian.” Yet, as soon as I left the comfort of my family’s faith, I completely washed my hands of it.
Why? Isn’t that the question so many parents end up asking? I can only share my experience but sadly, it is the experience of many young adults.
I had second-hand beliefs.
I regurgitated what I was told about God but never understood any of it.
This is not a blame session. I am not saying the heart of my family or my church was anything but sincere. What I am telling parents is the “have faith” defense is simply not enough if we want our children to continue in their faith as they become adults.
Science can be used to explain His existence and if we want our children to walk strongly, then they have to be able to understand what they believe and why.
I found this awesome book a few months ago and I literally read sections of the chapters over and over.
The main reason I bought the book was because the author had made this comment: “If Your Kids Are Someday Shocked by the Claims of Skeptics, You Didn’t Do Your Job.”
Ouch.
Yes, I know that is a hard pill to swallow but I am in the boat with you. I know we all want our children to grow up and maintain their walk, but if we are not teaching them how to defend their faith and stay true to the course, then we should expect worldly influences to come in and sweep them away.
I rarely find books that break Christian beliefs down the way she did. I cannot tell you how much this book will help you equip your family and help them stand firm and not be persuaded by outside views.
What more could we want for our children?
If you are interested, you can purchase your copy on Amazon.
Naomi says
Love this piece. I love this statement: I never understood how to explain my faith because all I was ever told was to have faith.
I too was told the same thing, I to had some really rough, bad decision years but I truly believe that God doesn’t give up on us. I am thankful for that. Keep up the good work Sarah.
Crystal says
My kids go to a traditional catholic school where they learn by memorization a lot. We are Vatican II Catholic and they sometimes attend my parent’s Lutheran church. We discuss how important it is to learn about different faiths (even atheism) quite a bit. Right now, my oldest is 17 and he does not have as strong a faith as I would like but I am leaving it alone becasue h is obstinate and the harder I push the more he will pull away.
Sarah West says
I think a lot of us grew up with legalism. And I am not saying the law and its practice should be ignored. I just think we push the rituals but not the relationship. It turned me off because I felt like I could never be “good enough” for God. But when I realized that Jesus came to fulfill the law and to cover what I could not, it made me run fully to Him. It takes time and I think you can’t push. Pray, not push. I was a wayward teen and I came home. Praying for your family.
Jen says
Thought provoking post. I was raised with atheist parents. I had a horrible teenage/early 20s. I’ve often wondered if it would have turned out differently if I had faith to fall back on. Today I would say I’m agnostic. I don’t go to church, but my husband and children do. I wanted my children to be raised without questioning the idea of God and to have some faith on which to fall back on should they need it. I think I’ll check out that book!
Sarah West says
The great thing about God and a relationship with Him is that it is NEVER too late to jump in. It is great for your kids and husband to go to church,to learn about God and His Word and I am glad to see you encouraging that, but let me encourage you to join them. It took me a LONG time to grasp that my relationship with God was the important factor, not religion.Church is great but its purpose is void if the truth is not understood and lived out. I struggled so long with the concept. As far as the book, it is fantastic and I think all parents should read several times. Glad you joined the conversation. Always open to chatting if you have questions. [email protected] 🙂