Every week, I make my rounds to visit my friend, John. He is an eighty-seven year old man who has become like family. And like family, he gives me unsolicited advice. (And if I live to be 87, I will do the same thing probably. I think you get free passes when you are his age!)
I smile. I nod. I move on to the next conversation.
I find I do that very often when it comes to my children and the unsolicited advice that often seems like an endless buffet of opinion from everyone about our schooling choices. But at the end of the day, I know the decision is mine to make. The spiritual charge has been given to my husband and me to flesh out with our children.
And I have become really good at articulated why we homeschool (and most everything else). As we have grown in our spiritual walks, the reasoning has shifted. Five years ago, our reasons were very selfish. I liked the autonomy of homeschooling. I’m a free spirit and so rules have never sat well with me. (They still don’t!)
Now, however, it has more to do with their spiritual maturity than a particular regimen. I want children who can critically think through their faith and actually defend it. I want children who look at the world through the lens of God and His Word.
I’m no longer concerned if they are Valedictorian. I want to raise World Changers. And I want to set the bar. I want to walk steadfast in my faith and give more than lip service.
And as beautiful as it might sound, it gets harder and harder each year to cling to the truth of those words. As demands on our family grows, I begin to question myself and the choices we make. I”m human. I get distracted. I become fearful because my call looks so different from the worlds. What if I mess up? What if I should turn right when I turned left? It can be exhausting.
Which brings me to the dilemma I see so many of us facing in all facets of our spiritual walks.
Do we actually believe what we say?
And I don’t just mean about our schooling choices, though it plays a large role for me in this season.
If we say we believe that God will supply all our needs, why are we so worried about our needs?
If we say we believe God will equip us for the task in which He has called us, why are we so concerned with not being equipped?
I put a picture of my son reading on my personal IG account this morning. Below the caption, I wrote:
“This is my favorite part of homeschooling. We are reading through Genesis right now. As Owen reads, I cannot help but be in awe of how far this little boy has come in reading fluency. We tried EVERYTHING to get him to read but each year it seemed harder and harder. Two years ago I threw out all the phonics curriculum and pulled out a Bible. Again, I stand in awe. God’s word is sufficient for EVERYTHING. #2Timothy3:16”
It was a gentle reminder for me that I can trust Him, even when I can’t see how it will work. I can trust Him, not because of my ability or even because of what I say, but because of who He is.
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