In Chapter Five of my book, I discuss the misunderstanding often attached to the concept of virginity and our wedding night. For those who have not purchased my book yet (Really, what are you waiting for?!) you can read an excerpt of the misunderstandings in my article found here.
But even before I get to the misunderstandings in my book, I start out the particular sub-chapter stressing this:
I believe the ramifications of sex outside of God’s design are important to discuss, but there’s another key part of the message we are failing to share; God does not just want our sexual purity, He wants purity in all things.
Pure thoughts. Pure words. Pure actions. (Page 99-106)
And if I could go back with one main revision, this would be the area I stressed more on the pages because it is usually the main point addressed when I go speak.
We don’t understand the difference between virginity and purity.
So please allow me to write bluntly for a moment.
An intact hymen does not mean you are pure.
Are you blushing? I’m sorry friends. I don’t mean to be crude but the difference between our virginity and our purity is being missed and I am afraid those teaching the purity message are not hitting the mark. So let me clarify something.
Virginity is lost. Purity can be reestablished.
I am afraid the purity message has been so diluted to only mean the physical things that those who have been sexually active think they cannot be made pure. I am living proof that is a lie straight from Satan. 1 Corinthians 1:30 reminds us: “God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin.” (NLV)
Virginity is physical. Purity is spiritual.
Virginity can be a sign of purity, if saved for the marriage bed but it is a physical sign. But God wants us to be more than physically pure. He wants us to have a pure heart. Virginity cannot measure the heart’s condition. Purity is about the condition of the mind, body and spirit. And purity is a sanctification process.
Virginity and purity are not synonymous.
Purity goes beyond just a physical state, therefore, a person could be a virgin and still impure. I know a lot of young adults that are virgins but are living impure lifestyles. I know many men and women that were not virgins but have been renewed by God’s grace.
Virginity and purity do not go hand in hand necessarily. So when we are teaching our children the difference, it is important we understand, first, why such differences.
What would you add to this topic?
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