My daughter was baptized over the weekend at our church. It was a sweet conclusion to what has been almost a year-long discussion about God.
I knew the conversations were coming. I could see the doubt in her eyes as we talked about God and faith. I saw a girl going through the godly motions but still not knowing God.
I saw a twelve-year-old version of myself.
I grew up in church. I was there for VBS and I knew all the bible stories. I even participated in the placement of Jesus on the felt board in our Sunday School classroom as the teacher read a bible story to all the Sunday School kids. Jesus was familiar enough to me but there was still a big problem.
I had also learned about heaven and hell. I concluded very quickly I wanted no part of an eternity of fiery damnation. So, at age ten, I asked “Jesus into my heart” and was baptized shortly after.
I often tell people it was the first day of a twenty-two year struggle to know God personally because the formalities had gotten in the way.
I am afraid my daughter was on that same path and I prayed that the chance to have some real conversations about God would happen.
A year ago, my daughter approached me. We have a very open line of communication so she felt comfortable sharing her doubts about God with me.
Mom, I’m just not sure if I know God.
My daughter has wrestled with a lot of doubt over the past year. She went from not thinking she actually knew God to questioning if she even believed in Him.
She is definitely my daughter; A free-thinker, not quick to accept anything. A young woman longing to know truth and not afraid to ask questions.
Much like me, my daughter had been baptized at a young age. She knew the bible stories and when asked if she wanted to go to heaven one day and be with Jesus, she ran down the aisle. We seat her down with the children’s ministry and asked her to explain what being saved meant. She said all the right things but has struggled with her faith since. (And for the record, the church she was in loved her and did what anyone in a ministry position would have done. They could only go on what she said. I am forever thankful for the love poured into my child during our time there.)
My daughter was baptized and welcomed with open arms from the church family.
I cannot begin to explain the copious amounts of time my husband and I have spent in prayer for her. When she began to question things, I made sure I did not just give her a churchy answer. We dug deep in God’s word. We prayed together and most importantly, we offered her an environment to ask questions.
I did not want to dismiss her questions and simply tell her to just have faith. I wanted to introduce her to a Savior. The one I had met four years ago. The Jesus that went from a felt board in a Sunday School classroom to the keeper of my heart.
At first, we continued to let her serve in her church. I prayed that through this something would click and she would realize she had just been struggling as many do early in their faith. I hoped, over time, she would realize she was actually saved, but as time pressed on, I saw she was still struggling.
We decided to take a break from serving in church and we spent the next few months in some serious prayer and study time. It was as if every time we shared something with her, the Sunday sermon confirmed it.
I know there are a lot of parents finding themselves in this very situation. I also understand there are many young adults, even children, going through the “Jesus motions” but have no idea who Jesus is. I know there are parents out there that have labored in love to point their children to Christ and have watched helplessly as the fields have brought no harvest.
Regardless of where you are in this area, I want to offer a few words of encouragement and thought. It is not exhaustive and I am sure there is someone who could pick my theology apart, but here I go anyway. It is a few things I had to learn about spiritually leading in my home.
We are not the Holy Spirit and it is not our job to convict or save our children. I wanted so desperately for my daughter to “get it” but it was something the Spirit had to work with her on. However, I believe when we seek His face He will reveal himself. That is key- our children must want to seek Him out. Our salvation is not passed down. It is personal decision between our children and their Heavenly Father.
Pressuring or scaring our children into submission will not produce believers. However, it will give our children a false sense of identity and security. There is a time and place to discuss hell, because it is real. We should seek out the opportunity to present a call for salvation, but pitting them up in a room where they are pressured by their peers or their leaders, though innocent, is not the most ideal atmosphere.
Why would any child (or adult for that matter) say no when asked the question, “Don’t you want to go to Heaven? Raise your hand.”
Before we tell our children that sin separates them from God, lets introduce them to Him first. When I was young, I knew God was an important piece in my life. I know because I was constantly being told that without Him, I would spend an eternity separated from Him and all those I love. Yes, our sin does separate and Jesus is that bridge. Our children need to know that it is only through the Son that we know the Father but lets take a moment to introduce them to who He is first. I mean really introduce Him. How can they invite someone “into their heart” that they don’t know anything about?
And the best way, besides reading about Him in His word, is by the example we set. Live it out in front on them.
I told you I wanted my daughter to know the true God, not just the one on the felt board. We, as parents, have the opportunity to introduce our children to the Living God because we serve a living God. We serve a God that still speaks and responds. One of the biggest stumbling blocks for our children is to see parents that do not live in this truth.
And though your faithfulness lived out may not produce believers, we are called to be salt and light and it starts in our homes
How do you address faith in your family? Feel free to leave a comment!
Other articles you might enjoy:
Raising Atheists: Fostering a Genuine Faith
A Letter from a Prodigal Child
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